


Halloween parties are good for sneaking away

by orphan_account



Series: Bart & co. [4]
Category: Bartimaeus - Jonathan Stroud, Discworld - Terry Pratchett
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Crossover, Funny, Halloween, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-19
Updated: 2016-10-19
Packaged: 2018-08-23 10:32:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8324461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: It´s halloween party and Bart and Faquarl are enjoying it a bit too much. The librarian assistant...not so much.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Dreyonea](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dreyonea/gifts).



I wasn´t sad. I don´t do sad. I was only....surprised, that´s all. (Yeah, I was so surprised I could actually feel my insides clench and I had to blink to stop a salty liquid pouring from my eyes. I was THAT surprised). However, I could find solace in the fact that my halloween costume was even more successful than I thought. Three people had already called me “Kitty” and I did not bother to correct them. I had other problems, after all. Like my ex-boyfriend ( dressed up as a too hot Egyptian king) walking around and holding hands with Snape (sorry, Nathaniel. But, correct me if I am wrong, but his hair DOES look like Snape´s), who was in a costume of Natty boy dressed like Gladstone (GLADSTONE, of all people. He really is a lost case). I watched them from afar and....well, I admit, I was a bit sad. I did really like Ptolemy and even if I had Faquarl, I missed him.   
“You little piece of egyptian shit!” came an angry shout from behind me and I turned to see a very angry looking Kitty.  
I made a step back. I mean, there was a bow hanging from her shoulder.  
“Why in the name of whatever did you dress up as me?!” She stabbed me in the chest with her finger.   
I blinked. (In a rather charming way, I tell you. I will definitely be using mum´s mascara more often. I am sure that Faquarl will appreciate that). Then I grinned and got a slap in return.  
Well, I get it. Maybe dressing up as her wasn´t my best idea.  
“Bart, that´s not what people do! You can´t just dress up as one of your friends without their consent!”  
I opened my mouth to say something terribly smart in return, but before came up with the comeback, sneaky hands wrapped around my torso and I got pulled into the bulky shape of my Greek boyfriend.   
“You are only jealous, because he is actually prettier you than yourself.” I could feel Faquarl´s hot breath on my ear. I might have leaned into him a little.   
“And he is desperate because his boyfriend broke up with him after finally having enough of his childish behaviour and now he needs to ventilate his frustration on the others!” She spitted the words without even pausing to breathe and I kinda admired her for it. But before I´d congratulate her on the wonderful set of lungs she has, I will rip out her throat for saying what she just said.   
Also, what is her costume supposed to mean? A bow and a leather jacket?! Is she trying to demonstrate something again, like supporting feminism by point out that Robin Hood could be a woman (in a rather rubbish way, I must say).  
But she was right.  
I was actually quite sad because of the whole business with Ptolemy - even if I had Faquarl now (and I was happy. As happy as you can be with a boyfriend who cooks a dinner for you, but keeps on scolding you the whole time. With the condition that the dinner tastes awesome). The thing is that Ptolemy was a part of my life for a long time - since we lived back in Egypt.   
So, before I was able to reply something sarcastic in return, Kitty stormed away and I was alone with Faquarl (alone...we were in the middle of the hall and there was a lot of other people, so perceive the term “alone” as relative), who must´ve had sensed that something was amiss, because he hugged me from behind and laid a kiss on the top of my head.   
“You okay?” he asked and my heart melted a little. But I had to keep up the appearances. So I elbowed him in the ribs.  
“Of course I am, you idiot,” I replied, although my voice was a bit higher than usual. “Why shouldn´t I?”  
Faquarl sighed and manhandled me so I was facing him. He took my face in his hands and I started to feel uncomfortable. It just began to seem...I bit to serious, if you get me. And I just don´t do serious stuff. Or try not to.   
“Listen, Bart....” he started again, and I wanted to run away, in a fashion of our libriarian´s assistant, but his grip was just a tad too strong. “I want you to know that I don´t mind if you still feel something for Ptolemy....you were together for a long time, I get it.”   
I blew a blueberry because I had to relieve all the tension somehow and I was not feeling for a serious dialogue. Not sober, in the middle of the hall, dressed like Kitty with a lot of make up on my face.   
“Nah,” I waved my hand, “I am completely okay. I am happy with you, he is happy with...with....Natty boy.” I fell silent and finally took a good look at Faquarl and that was when I noticed he wasn´t wearing anything unusual - jeans and white shirt that did....wonderful things to his chest.   
“Faquarl, the whole point of Halloween party is that you wear a costume,” I said cheerfully, but then I notice a bloodied axe in his hand.  
I froze.   
“But I am wearing a costume,” he growled and I swallowed. If we weren´t dating and the axe was really, I probably wouldn´t be a prettier version of Kitty anymore. “I am a murdering butcher.”  
I blinked. At least he had looks.  
“Okay,” I said at last. “That´s truly wonderful costume. It´s very....you.”  
Faquarl smirked. “You stay here then and I will go and get us some drinks,” he said, pointing to the tables that were now occupying what once was a main corridor of the hall.  
I raised my eyebrow. As if you could get an actual drink drink on a school costume party. But I knew better then to question my boyfriend´s methods. So I sat down next to someone dressed up in a really BRIGHT red clothes and got comfortable, thrilled with the anticipation of illegal booze.  
Then I realized that the slumbered looking figure in red was Rincewind (like, seriously, that can´t be his real name! Next time I hack into the school system, I´ll have to check it out. I am sure it´s something terrible. Like Brendol, for example. Or Henry), the student who was spending most of his time in the library (when he wasn´t running for his life or trying to pass another year of University). One look at his costume made me understand why he is being bullied by....everyone. He went for glitters and shiny stones. And a pointy hat which had the word WIZZARD written on the front in glitters. Even I would have a kick if I didn´t have some morals (also, Rincewind turned out to be very comprehensive when I wanted to hide in the library during tha math test. We chatted. He is a nice guy. More traveled then he´d like to).   
“Rinco!” I called and he looked up abruptly and for a few seconds he looked ready to run. He always did that. It was a nervous tick. When he saw me and realized I wasn´t Kitty, he smiled a bit.   
“Bart!” he said. “You have a nice costume.”  
“Thanks,” I grinned. “You also have....a nice costume.”  
Rincewind smiled a bit more. It was actually nice to see him smile a bit. He didn´t really smile often. But then I noticed a can of beer in his hand and I got it. NULLUS ANXIETAS. That stuff did wonders for him. One can, and he was practically high. Once he told me a story of how his cousin introduced him to this...magical beverage and he spent the rest of the day chasing a kangaroo all over the university.   
“Did you see the librarian?”   
“You mean the big hairy monkey?”  
“Ape,” Rincewind corrected me and took a gulp of beer. “It´s ape. Do not let him hear you say the word monkey. Don´t. I am really tired of stopping him from murdering random people. I don´t even get paid for it.”  
We sat in relative silence for a while (well, silence....remember that we were in a middle of the hall, in school and there was a lot of kids of various ages). Rincewind kept on drinking his beer. I waited for Faquarl to finally appear.   
But instead of him, Rincewind´s cat came.  
Yes. You read that correctly.   
Luggage was, as I understood, a gift from an exchange student he lived with during his first year of uni. And...it just kept following him around. Everywhere. LITERALLY everywhere. It always found a way.   
And terrified everyone in a five miles radius.  
Today wasn´t any different.  
I could hear screaming. And glass crashing.   
Just the usual.  
I carefully turned my head to look at Rinco. He....looked rather pale. But also kinda annoyed.   
“Shit,” I could hear him mumble. “I gotta go before it bites the headmaster again.” He stood up rather shakily. “Do not let anyone know you´ve seen me.”  
I nodded. “Can I hide in the library on Tuesday?” I called after him, just as he was turning round the corner. “We are having an oral exam from Physics!”  
“Sure thing!”   
And then he was gone.   
Just as Faquarl. I was getting impatient.  
Where in the seven circles of hell is he?!  
I´ve had enough. I got up and went for the library (he went to take booze. And everything secret in our school takes place in the library. Thanks to Rinco and the librarian who is oblivious to you as long as you keep silent, don´t call him a monkey and bring him a banana), passing few disheveled students on my way (it looked like they crossed the Luggage´s way).   
The library was mostly dark (there were few fake candles - the librarian would never allow any fire in the immediate proximity of his beloved books - and Halloween decorations. A bowl full of quite real looking eyes, for example), but I knew the way and went straight for the furthest section.  
Faquarl was there.  
“Where have you been? I´ve been sitting there with Rinco for what was like ten solid minutes.” I sat down next to him and reached for a bottle of beer he was clutching.  
“I could´t get out of here,” he answered. “Underwood just kept sneaking through the hallways. He´d see me. By the way... what was all that fuss about?”  
“Luggage,” came a response before I could even open my mouth.   
Yeah. Of course.  
“Did you catch her?” I asked as Rincewind came crawling from under the table. He looked miserable. He usually did.  
He shot me a murderous glance. “Do I look like I want to commit a suicide to you? The last time I tried to stop it, I got bitten.”  
“Rinco, and don´t you think like maybe you would be safer at the lockers?” Faquarl suddenly asked, in a sickly sweet voice. It took me only a second to understand what was his plan.  
I liked it.  
“Yes, you know, library is the first place where anyone will come looking for you,” I added in a grave voice.  
Rincewind blinked.   
I smiled encouragingly.  
Rincewind blinked again.  
I let out a suffering sigh.   
“Rincewind, we want to do stuff here, so you better get going,” Faquarl said finally and Rincewind went really red in the face.  
Stumbling, he left the library.  
I felt sorry for him.  
“You didn´t need to be so harsh,” I said when Faquarl´s hands found their way around my torso.  
“He wouldn´t be going,” he shrugged and pulled me closer. I groaned. “I swear to got, sometimes he is like some stupid kid.”  
I kicked him. “Do not talk about our only child like that.”  
He laughed into my mouth while he was kissing me and I kissed back.


End file.
